|
|
|
|
|
|
|
My parents bought a new 36" TV, and we helped them move it and the new cabinet around their house. Then they gave us their old 27" TV, which still looks brand new. I am thrilled, but the kids are outraged that we now have so many TVs in the house and yet, still no cable. I told them, "Hey, you want a TV in your room? Okay! In fact, have *three* TVs in your room! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, But I'm STILL not turning the cable back on!!!!!!" They think I'm crazy, heh. I am Still. Waiting. For my transcripts. They said 2 weeks, it's been two weeks. I am impatient. Actually, I really really *need* them soon because I have to pay for my classes by June 24 but I need to know which english classes I've already taken first. Otherwise I'll be signed up for Survey of Am.Lit and I think I may have already taken it. Pleeeeeease, Mr.MailMan, Please bring my transcripts today!!! I want to learn Italian. I bought a book a few years ago and learned quite a lot from it, but I want to take a class to learn to speak it. I have to have a year of foreign language to finish college, I'm debating whether to take Spanish, which I understand most of already and will be easy and more likely to be used... Or to take Italian, which is just what I really really want to take. I'm taking Italian. I've also discovered that I'm still an overachiever, as I've been trying to squeeze even more classes into my schedule next semester. Lucky for me, there's really nothing else available in the Fall that's possible for me to take. So I'll stick with my 3 classes/9 units for now. And hopefully not cram in 18 units in the Spring. I have also confirmed that my ex-husband truly is about 12 years old mentally. After Spike's graduation we stood outside taking pictures and Charleen was trying to take a picture with my camera of Spike and me. She couldn't tell if she was actually clicking it, but she actually took 4 pictures of us, with a few seconds in between. So they turned into a little stop motion film of what was going on behind us. When I got the pictures onto the computer and looked at them, there in the background is my ex-hubby, looking straight into the camera from behind me, walking backwards into the picture with his hand stretched out behind him and that stupid asshole smile on his face. He's either trying to make it look as if he's grabbing my ass (and if that had happened he would be DEAD right now, I promise you), or he's trying to make some gesture with his hand behind me, or he's just trying to ruin the picture by being in it. I couldn't believe this 37 year old man was pulling something so stupid! Anyway, I cropped him right out of the pictures. When I say I must become a success in order to beat him, I don't mean a success in being a good mother. I know I'm a good mother, and sometimes, rarely, he'll tell me that himself - I just want to spit in his face when he says it, cuz really, no thanks to YOU, stupid asshole. What I mean is, he rejoices in those moments when he makes me crazy, when I get upset and cry, whenever he can hold anything over my head - and since he's in control of the money, he can hold that over my head any time he wants to. Logical or not, he can point to me at any time and say "That girl can't even raise her kids financially, she can't even take care of herself." And even though he's gained a hundred pounds and weighs around 300, he can still point to me and say "She's fat." When I say I want to become a success, I mean I want to be in a place where he is no longer able to do that. Where I'm so obviously a success that there is nothing he could possibly say. I want to go back to school and get my degree, that degree which he stole from me in SO MANY different ways, I want to have a good job while he's old and still trying to do his construction work, I want to be able to support myself without any of his money, and I want to get back into shape. So yeah, that's partly why I'm going to school, to prove to him that I can. I want to be more of a success than he is. I don't need to be rich, and material things don't mean much to me, I just want to be a legitimate success in Life, where I can support myself, by myself, and I want to look good and be healthy. I KNOW he's just a bum, I know he's not a true success, I know he's stupid and fat and lazy. But I want HIM to know it. I don't want him to have any power over me, and this is how I can do it. Have a nice day Everyone. And stay cool.
|
|
